“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.” Mathew 23:13
A few days ago I watched a video on youtube that makes want to write about healing from traumatic religiosity, cause I went through this process!
A woman was talking about her own experiences with an evangelical cult called “The assembly” and she shared a little about how after the Jesus Moviment,that happened in the 70’s, her family joined this cult and her life became miserable!
I could totally relate with her frustration and experiences with that lifestyle of freedom privation, but mine was not in a cult, was a christian church!
She talked about all the things that was forbidden to her and how she finally “got free” when she started to attend college, discovering that women can be powerful and do whatever they want to do!
I don’t know anything about that woman’s life but what I know is that: You can have all the power, money and indepence of this world and still feel empty. And that’s why I decided to write about it.
That’s right there, where my experience and hers got really different!
When I decided to leave my religious life during my youth, I was also tired of that life where I could not experience any fun or liberty!
I grew up hearing about sin and hell and how I should be a “good person” and follow all the (boring) rules to go to heaven! I got tired of it and just let it go from my life.
But when I was out there living like I wanted, experience a lifestyle with no rules, using drugs, getting wild and living by my own patterns , I had to face, after a while, that in the end of the day I was alone and more than that, there was no purpose in all of it.
I am not gonna lie: sex, drugs and rock n’ roll can be really fun and pleasing for a while, but this feeling does not last forever!
What I found out walking around this scene,including the feminist moviment, is that most of people are just playing a character and running away from their own ghosts, cause that is easier than face the truth!
The truth is that most of us are broken, traumatized and lonely, looking for people who really care about us, looking for a meaning to life, a reason to wake up every morning!
I don’t know what kind of trauma you went through or the hard situations you are facing right now regarding religiosity, but I want to tell you: Jesus is so much more than sundays school and rules that makes you feel like you don’t belong anywhere!
When I finally decided to surrender, after I had tried all the ways possible to fell alive, I made a simple request to God, I said: “God if you are real, if you really see me here, please do something to change my life! I can’t do this anymore”
It’s that simple! You don’t need a church, a pastor or any person to lead you to the truth, you just need to open your heart and be honest to God! He will do the rest.
After I made this choice, everything started to change in my life! All the burden, the pain and the meaningless in my life started to fade away day after day.
So, I just want to be honest with you: You don’t need to blame Jesus for what people or the “church” done to you!
He loves you and He died for you! All He wants is a invitation to your heart and then, all can be different in your life!
Give Him a chance to show you who He really are! A loyal friend, a savior and a loving God.
Despite of what people might say, only Him can reveal to you who you really are!
You are made for a bigger purpose than fame or professional success, you are made to be the image of God and part of His family!
I hope my experineces help you to understand that no matter what happens in your life, God still loves you and wants to have a close relationship with you, free from religiosity!
The next post I will go deeper into my (bad) experiences with church, leaders and about my healing journey!
Have a good week friends! God bless you.