Maturity: a process that involves time and trust!

Hello friends!

I decided to repost this content because maturity it’s a really important thing for us, who decided to trust God in every step of our lives!

I hope you enjoy it and feel inspired to grow!

“It has been a year since I got back to my hometown and I am living with my family again.

I have to be honest, it’s not easy live with your family as an adult, who used to live by herself. But after I came back from Nepal, where I went for a missionary trip, I had to do it, cause I spent all my savings in that trip.

When I got back, I thought my process of waiting until the next step, would last only a few months, but I was wrong! I did not realize what God wanted to do in my life and through it.

I had too much things “unresolved” inside my heart, a lot of wounds from my past, that I had to face to be healed, and that would involve my family. So, as you can probably imagine, this has been a hard season for me, but also a great and necessary one.

I am learning to depend on God only, in every step of the way! And more important: I am learning to be PATIENT!

When we start a journey of partnership with God, we get some glimpses from him about the future, right? What the bible call PROMISES. Everyone has at least one for their life.

However, there is a moment when we start to question ourselves (and God) if it will really happen sometime, cause it’s taking too long. And then, we start to DOUBT OF IT! Cause that is what we, humans, do.

It’s inevitable, you can confirm it on the Bible, where men and women of God also did it.

The bible says “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! ” (Romans 11:33)

That means God has His own ways and time to act in our lives and also in history.

He is above time and space. Because of that, sometimes it seems like He is taking too long to fulfill His promises for us, isn’t it?

Yesterday, I started to read a great book called “Maturity: the access to full inheritance”.

The author, Luciano Subirá, talks about why we need to go through a process of maturity to earn our spiritual inheritance from God! This process of growth takes time and a right attitude, that involves trust and faith in God’s ways for us!

This book came at the right time for me, cause I am on this process of growth.

Everyday I need to learn how to trust in God’s love for me, no matter what happens! I need to remember He is faithfull to acomplish His words about me!

Yesterday, I was confronted by my grandpa about a personal situation. My first reaction was to feel irritated and resented. Not with Him, but with the acusation that other people was making about me!

The funny thing was, that I was very happy a few minutes before, writing about a great experience I had on sunday, the night before, at the service! And then, boom! He dropped that thing on me!

So my first thought was “Wait a minute, they can’t say that! Who do they think they are?” I felt really angry for a moment! Cause the whole thing was pretty ironic for me.

But then, I realized what was happening! I experienced a great move from God at night and, in the next day someone was trying to steal my joy!

The bible says “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesinas 6:12

When I looked at the situation with spiritual eyes, I finally understood what was happening. So I just praised the Lord, for making me more mature and able to see it in a different way!

I did not need to get angry or bitter with these people, I just needed to trust God, to fight my battles for me! It was just a retaliation!

I felt so happy, cause for the first time in a while, the enemy did not get my joy and confidence away. I was ready for it!

So, I think this is what we can call maturity: a journey of learning, where at some point, you are secure to trust in God alone, no matter what happens!

You overcame the “complaint season” and now you can finally surrender every struggle to Him and just rest! Cause you know He is taking care of everything!

I’m still walking through this maturity process! But today I just glad, cause I could see clearly how things work behind the natural situations of life, in the spiritual realms. I could fight back, without losing hope!

I hope this personal experience inspire you to trust more and more in God everyday! Because the spiritual maturity is a long walk, with ups and downs, it does not come from one day to the next!

However, if we just trust in the Holy Spirit to guide us, each step will be worth it!”

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 

 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”  Ephesians 3:16-19

My history (part 2: DTS- Discipleship training school)

( If you are curious about part 1 of my testimony, read here!)

So, after I finished all the process and overcame the struggles, I finally  embarked on this journey.! On February 5, I traveled to São Paulo to meet the DTS crew, at the meetingpoint: Mount Zion Church. There I started to get to know better the other students.

I remember that right there, in the first contact, I already received a word about my life and future days, which involved knowing more deeply the scriptures and how God would use that for His plans!

It was amazing to hear this for the first time, because I was expecting so much about this experience and, hearing that, made me understand some things, including my hunger for the bible (I had read the entire bible in the last 3 months that preceded this trip).

On the bus, I remember that everyone was very excited and Frenchie, one of the staffs, started talking to us about his story and at one point he asked each of us to get up and declare something we would like to be fulfilled in the future! It was very exciting!

There were statements of healing and salvation over cities and nations, ministries in which people would like to act by, being declared.

When it came to me I remember saying: I declare that one day I will have a music band to announce Jesus, formed only by women! I do not even know why I wanted this so much, since I never played any instrument (although I’m passionate about guitar!)

And I also do not sing lol. So imagine you, this actually seemed like a total wander, but God knows all things.

Then, after everyone had finished speaking, the staff, Frenchie, said: “just passed a bus here on the side written ‘making dreams come true’. Wow, everyone was amused!

For most people, of course, believing this would be crazy, but for those who know how God acts, it could be considered a signal.( a really cool one, by the way!)

Anyway, when I got there I was super excited! The first few days were amazing and God gave me several words through the staffs that were there (the staffs were a DTS leadership team).

It was very encouraging for me because I was not used to nothing like that, I did not even know how to listen to God´s voice, I still had many misconceptions about this subject (and a lot was demystified for me in these months of DTS)

Most of the time I spent in this farm, I felt very good, super excited and hungry for God. I wanted to absorb everything and the classes were incredible!

We have received several YWAM leaders from Kona and people involved in the most diverse ministries, both inside and outside the YWAM comunity.

In these classes we learned more about how to listen to the voice of God, how to spend more time with Jesus and make him our best friend, how to speak about Jesus to people in a simple and objective way, those teachings was very good for my development.

Because, after all, I did not know anything before I got there, I had just given my life to Jesus(few months before) and this opportunity helped  me to learn many things about relationship with God and how he acts (although this is impossible to delimit, God acts in infinite ways!)

I remember that during those months, the school leader also asked us to read the story of Lorren Cunningham and the beginning of YWAM in the world.

This book made all the difference in my life! (not making a propaganda, but it’s true) it clearly shows the learning process of this man and his difficulties, as he learned to hear the voice of God and do His will, often making mistakes, of course.

This book also makes it clear: that if we persist in doing God’s will, He helps us in the process and he is patient with our mistakes and stumbles. It shows that  the closer we get, the easier it gets to hear His voice and do the that He asks of us.

But, not everything is a “piece of cake” in Christian´s life, is quite the opposite. I also had difficulties during this period. I often felt rejected or excluded.

I had days that I faced a hard time interacting with people, including from my travel group to Nepal. And I spent some confined times in my room, trying to hide myself from the world and denying my struggles.

After discovering that I was going to Nepal (each of us could chose 3 countries as options and write on a paper, after a few days, we received the answer!), I started to have “team time” with the people who would travel with me and we started to get to know each other better and share our experiences.

It was not easy for me, first because, I never liked to expose myself to strangers  and second because, if I feel that I cannot “trust” someone, simply because I did not like something in this person, everything gets more difficult when it comes to relating.

Unfortunately, this happened even in relation to my leader. I had a meeting with her once in a week to talk about my difficulties and development, and I had a hard time opening up and talking about my deepest feelings and problems. I’ve always been like this, kind of defensive, and that’s a barrier in my relationship with people.

However, God began to work on me, during this period, beginning to treat my rejection issues and related wounds, that have always influenced my personality.

In the middle of this process, I experienced my first “supernatural” experience with God,  He took me to a place and showed me how I saw myself.

He told me, after I told this experience to a friend, that he was healing me from this distorted view of myself! (He handed me the interpretation through her.)

I do not know if I can detail everything I’ve experienced in this season, but I’ll try, continuing to count in parts!

So, see you next time!

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Quem me dera ser um pouco
Melhor no que eu tenho que dizer

E talvez assim, eu conseguisse
Pedir ajuda mais cedo

E não gastaria, o tempo tentando
Provar pra ninguém o que eu sou
E o que eu não sou

Quem foi o primeiro a me contar
Tantas mentiras que eu resolvi acreditar
Enquanto eu carregava o peso que eu achava ser só meu,

mas não, você fez enxergar
O que eu mereceria
Resolveu me dizer que o peso
O peso não é só meu ( Amen Jr-  O peso não é só meu)

Então, depois de todo aquele processo e lutas, eu finalmente embarquei nessa jornada!

No dia 05 de fevereiro, eu viajei pra São Paulo, pra encontrar a galera do DTS no ponto de embarque,na Igreja Monte Sião. Lá já comecei a tentar me enturmar e conhecer a galera. Me lembro que ali mesmo,no primeiro contato, já recebi uma palavra sobre a minha vida e dias futuros, que envolvia conhecer mais profundamente as escrituras!

Foi incrível ouvir isso pela primeira vez, porque eu estava com muitas expectativas sobre esse tempo que eu passaria no DTS, e ouvir aquilo, me fez entender algumas coisas, inclusive minha fome pela bíblia (eu tinha lido a bíblia inteira nos últimos 3 meses que precederam essa viagem).

No ônibus, eu me lembro que todo mundo tava muito animado e o Frenchie, um dos staffs, começou a falar com a gente sobre a história dele e em um determinado momento ele pediu pra que cada um de nós se levantasse e declarasse algo que nós gostaríamos que se cumprisse no futuro!

Foi muito emocionante! Havia declarações de cura e salvação sobre cidades e nações, ministérios em que as pessoas gostariam de atuar, sendo declarados.

E, quando chegou a minha vez me lembro de ter dito: eu declaro que um dia terei uma banda pra anunciar Jesus, formada só por mulheres! Nem sei porque eu queria tanto isso, já que eu nunca toquei instrumento algum( embora eu seja apaixonada por guitarra!) e também não canto rs.

Então imaginem, na verdade isso pareceu uma viagem total, mas Deus sabe de todas as coisas. Logo depois, quando todo mundo terminou de falar, o staff que estava a frente disse: acabou de passar um ônibus aqui do nosso lado e tava  escrito “realizando sonhos” hahahhaha todo mundo ficou em êxtase.

Claro que, pra maioria das pessoas, acreditar nisso seria loucura, mas pra quem conhece como Deus age, isso poderia sim ser considerado um sinal.

Enfim, quando cheguei lá eu tava super animada, os primeiros dias foram incríveis e Deus me entregou várias palavras através dos staffs que estavam lá (os staffs eram um time da liderança do DTS). Foi bem encorajador pra mim, porque eu não estava acostumada com nada disso, eu nem sabia como ouvir a voz de Deus direito, eu ainda tinha muitas idéias erradas envolvendo esse assunto.( e muita coisa foi desmistificada pra mim, nesses meses de DTS)

Na maior parte do tempo que passei nessa fazenda eu me senti muito bem, super animada e com fome de Deus, queria absorver tudo e as aulas eram incríveis! Recebemos vários líderes da Jocum de Kona e pessoas envolvidas nos mais diferentes ministérios, dentro e fora da Jocum (YWAN).

Nessas aulas aprendemos mais sobre como ouvir a voz de Deus, como passar mais tempo com Jesus e fazer dele nosso melhor amigo, como falar de Jesus pras pessoas de uma forma simples e objetiva; foi muito bom pro meu desenvolvimento.

Afinal, eu não sabia de nada, eu tinha acabado de entregar a minha vida pra Jesus e aprendi muitas coisas sobre relacionamento com Deus e a forma como ele age (embora isso seja impossível de delimitar, Deus age de formas infinitas!).

Lembro que nesse período, a líder da escola também pediu que a gente lesse a história do Lorren Cunhighan e do início da Jocum no mundo. Esse livro fez toda diferença na minha vida! ( não to fazendo propaganda, mas é verdade) ele mostra claramente  o processo de aprendizagem  desse homem e suas dificuldades , como ele aprendeu a ouvir a voz de Deus e fazer a Sua vontade, errando muitas vezes, é claro.

Esse livro deixa evidente que, se nós persistimos em fazer a vontade de Deus, Ele nos ajuda no processo e é extremante paciente com nossos erros e tropeços e que, quanto mais nos aproximamos, mais fácil fica de ouvir Sua voz e fazer o que Ele nos pede (o título em português é “Fala Senhor, estou ouvindo”).

Mas, nem tudo são flores na vida do cristão, muito pelo contrário. Eu também tive muitas dificuldades nesse período. Muitas vezes me sentia rejeitada ou excluída, tinha dias que eu tinha muita dificuldade em interagir com o pessoal, inclusive do meu grupo de viagem pro Nepal. E passei algumas tardes confinadas no meu quarto, tentando me esconder do mundo e negando meu problema.

Depois de descobrir que eu ia pro Nepal (cada um de nós pôde colocar 3 países como opção num papel e após alguns dias, recebemos a resposta!), eu passei a ter “ tempo de time” com o pessoal que ia viajar comigo e com isso passamos a nos conhecer melhor e dividir nossas experiências.

Não foi fácil pra mim, primeiro porque eu nunca gostei de me expor e segundo porque, se eu cismo que não posso “confiar” em alguém, simplesmente porque não fui com a cara dessa pessoa, tudo fica mais difícil na hora de me relacionar.

E, infelizmente, isso aconteceu inclusive em relação à minha líder. Eu tinha reunião com ela,uma vez por semana, pra falar sobre minhas dificuldades e desenvolvimento, e eu tinha muita dificuldade em me abrir e falar de coisas mais profundas. Eu sempre fui assim, meio na defensiva, e isso sempre foi uma barreira no meu relacionamento com as pessoas.

No entanto, Deus começou a trabalhar em mim durante esse período, começou a tratar minhas feridas relacionadas a rejeição e que sempre influenciaram minha personalidade.

Inclusive foi nesse tratamento vindo de Deus, que vivi minha primeira experiência “sobrenatural” com Ele.  Eu fui levada prum lugar diferente e lá, ele me mostrou como eu me via. Ele me disse, depois de eu contar essa experiência pra uma amiga, que ele estava me curando dessa visão distorcida de mim mesma! ( Ele me  entregou a interpretação através dela.)

Não sei se consigo detalhar tudo que eu vivi nesse período, mas vou tentar, continuando a contar em partes….até lá!

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“Se que eu falasse as línguas dos homens e dos anjos, mas não tivesse amor…”

Hoje, eu passei por um episódio que já é meio comum na minha vida. Estava sentada com a minha filha ajudando-a com o dever de casa de matemática. E acabei ficando estressada.

Tudo começou quando ela errou um desenho que deveria ser a representação de um determinado ângulo e aí descobrimos que ela tinha perdido a borracha. Briguei com ela! “Filha, por que você sempre perde suas coisas? Você tem que ser mais cuidadosa com o seu material” (toda semana é alguma coisa do material que some).

Depois, ela começou a fazer os desenhos de forma desorganizada no caderno e reclamei de novo: “você tem que organizar o raciocínio! Ta tudo bagunçado, o professor não vai entender o que você fez”.

Isso acontece com freqüência quando sento pra fazer a lição com ela! Reclamo da falta de organização ou porque ela tá relaxada com a lição e sempre falo “eu nunca fui assim na escola, sempre fui organizada!”

Enfim, depois disso, ela terminou a lição e nós duas terminamos estressadas. Resolvi então tirar um tempo com Deus e perguntei pra Ele “Pai, o que eu faço pra lidar com essa situação? Não consigo não me estressar com essa postura da Gi em relação à escola!”

E logo ele respondeu “você tem que deixar ela errar! Qual o problema? Faz parte do processo!”. Quando comecei a ler a bíblia me deparei com 1 Coríntios 13, que fala sobre as características do amor:

4O amor é paciente e bondoso. O amor não é ciumento, nem presunçoso. Não é orgulhoso,nem grosseiro. Não exige que as coisas sejam à sua maneira. Não é irritável, nem rancoroso. Não se alegra com a injustiça, mas sim com a verdade. O amor nunca desiste, nunca perde a fé, sempre tem esperança e sempre se mantém firme.Um dia, profecia, línguas e conhecimento desaparecerão e cessarão, mas o amor durará para sempre” (1 Coríntios 13:4-8)

Deus estava me dando uma dica! (e um puxão de orelha!rs) : “Primeiro, não projete as suas expectativa na sua filha,sobre como e quem ela deve ser, ela tem suas próprias características e habilidades, ela não é você.

Em segundo lugar, o amor “não exige as coisas à sua maneira. Não é irritável, nem rancoroso”. Ame a sua filha, independente de como você enxerga o comportamento dela!

Um relacionamento de confiança é mais importante do que ela suprir as suas expectativas de desempenho, de certo ou errado. Ela é uma pessoa com personalidade e características únicas e vai aprender errando, cabe à você dar a ela todo suporte e amor necessários, o resto são detalhes do processo de aprendizagem!”

Acontece que, eu sempre fui uma pessoa perfeccionista e, às vezes, a busca pela perfeição me cega e eu me distancio do que realmente importa: relacionamento, confiança e aprendizado. Deus tem me ensinado muito sobre isso!

Eu li algo eu um livro (acho que foi no “Evangelho maltrapilho”) que agora faz muito sentido: era Deus falando aos seus filhos “ eu espero mais erros de você,do que você mesmo!”

Ele sabe que vamos errar, e é tolerante no nosso desenvolvimento como filhos. Ele sabe que  sem erros não há aprendizado e crescimento! E há graça suficiente no amor de Deus para conosco, que cobre todas as nossas falhas e tropeços!

Então hoje, essa foi minha lição como mãe: amar mais e criticar menos! Me inspirar mais no amor infinito e tolerante do Pai! De nada adianta nos esforçarmos para sermos corretos e irrepreensíveis, se não houver amor.

Obrigada pelo aprendizado Senhor, não sei o que seria de mim sem a Sua graça infinita! =)

“Agora, vemos de modo imperfeito,como um reflexo no espelho,mas então veremos tudo face a face…

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If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal…”

Today, I lived an episode that is quite a common in my life. I was sitting with my daughter helping her with math homework! And I ended up getting stressed with her.

It all started when she made a mistake drawing that was supposed to be the representation of a  angle, and then we discovered that she had lost the eraser. I said to her “why do you always lose your things? You have to be more careful with your school stuff “(every week is something that disappears of her bag).

Then she began to make the drawings all disorganized in her notebook, then I complained again: “you have to organize the reasoning! It’s all messed up, the teacher will not understand what you did”.

This kind of situation happens a lot, almost every time I sit with her to help with the homework! Claiming the lack of organization or because she is sloppy with the school things! I always say to her “I’ve never been like this in school, I’ve always been organized!”

Anyway, after all, she finished her homework and we both ended up stressed. Then, I decided to spend some time with God, and  I asked Him “Father, what should I do to deal with this situation? I cannot avoid be stressed with my daughter´s attitude related to school!”

And soon he replied “you have to let her make mistakes! What’s the matter? It’s part of the learning process!”. And when I started reading the bible, I came across 1 Corinthians 13:

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or smug.  Is not proud, not rude. It does not require things to be its way. Love is neither irritable nor spiteful. It rejoices not in unrighteousness, but in truth. Love never gives up, never loses faith, always has hope and always stands firm. One day, prophecy, tongues and knowledge will disappear and cease, but love will last forever.”

God was giving me a tip!  “First, do not project your expectations on your daughter, about how or who she should be,she has her own characteristics and abilities! She is not you. Second, love “does not require things in its own way. It is not irritable or spiteful ” so, love your daughter regardless of how you see the whole situation, of what you expect!

A relationship of trust is more important than fulfill your expectations about her performance . She is a person with unique personality and traits and she will learn by making mistakes.

It is up to you to give her all the support and love she need, the rest are just details of the learning process! “

I’ve always been a perfectionist, but sometimes the pursuit of perfection blinds me and I distance myself from what really matters: relationship, trust, learning. God has taught me so much about it!

I read something in a book (I think it was in the “Ragamuffin Gospel”) that now makes too much sense to me : it was God speaking to his children “I expect more mistakes from you, than yourself!”

He knows that we are going to make mistakes, and he is patient in our development as sons and daughters. He knows that without failure there is no learning and growth! And there is grace enough in God’s love for us, which covers all our faults and stumbles!

So today, this was my lesson as a mother: criticize less and LOVE MORE!

Learning from the infinite and graceful love of the Father! It is useless to strive to be right and blameless if there is no love.

Thank you, for your patience to teach me, Lord! I don´t know what I would become without Your infinite grace in my life =)

” For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.